When I was jumped by a bully in middle school, while he sat on my chest throwing punches toward my face, he said two phrases:
“Hold still!”
“Put your hands down!”
I did neither.
My friends pulled him off seconds after his third repetition of those words.
I’m here to tell you what bullies will say when they hold you down, to better beat you before help can arrive.
You did remember to make friends on the way to this ambush, right?
And, the most exquisite CODA cum finale:
