February 19, 2011

Derezzing Tron:Legacy

I just got done watching “Tron:Legacy”, primarily to confirm my heavy suspicion that “Tron:Legacy” the movie sucks. It absolutely does. Great job on the soundtrack and effects, guys. But the screenwriters and the director are the kind that I’d choose as first up against the wall come the next revolution (except the one who put in the “What’s [Jules Verne] like?” joke…you can stay…and I hope it was the ACTRESS).

Here’s what pissed me off first, I don’t even want to measure what pissed me off the most, because that’s a task of little thanks.

Biggest change from the first? Instead of blue lines, the “good guys” are now fully white lines.

The reds lines are still red, along with being a total massive horde controlled and led by a charismatic warrior, who is a yellow line. He’s corrupted by an over-zealous dedication to perfection, something which is assigned as COMING FROM THE CREATOR, A WHITE LINE. The white lines are either the “heroes” or the weak the heroes protect. The Father white line has been allowed to APPROPRIATE the adoption of zen…not the yellow line, over perfect warrior leader.

At the very end, no spoilers, a red line sacrifices himself to save the white lines. As he’s sinking into a sea-like depth, his lines turn white.

See all that? Lines are politico-genetic lineages or cultural traditions. White = Western, Red = Eastern (including Russian), and the one Yellow bastard is a COPY OF US trying to escape the world a western human ( who is still a white line when in the Grid) made for him, by pretty much lying about the whit lines to the red ones. I could barely keep from puking on the floor of the cinema, and I hold held that back because a friend works there.

Fuck you Disney. The Russians are dead, Pearl Harbor was avenged, China isn’t THAT kind of threat, the Japanese already surrendered but they didn’t do it to save US, and they didn’t become Western (and won’t). And we didn’t fucking invent them, ever. They aren’t our flawed mirror image.

By the way, the Japanese INVENTED zen and the entire concept of the ethical warrior (whether or not they’ve ever achieved it is a moot point), so why is the white line westerner the only one who knows about either, you false and thieving magpies?

Did I mention that I can do without a whole lot of Disney’s continued racist encoding?

Should I mention I haven’t even started writing about the sexist dimensions of this wad of monkey shit flung at my brain? I’ll go there if anyone asks me to.

The Revolution will not be Midaevalized.

October 24, 2010

George, George, George Of The Bungle

Filed under: Movies — Tags: , — Saint Waldo @ 1:59 AM

Please join me in hoping that George Lucas isn’t this stupid, vain or cruel.

If it’s another set of Joseph-Campbell-filtered-through-Akira-Kurosawa potential myths, sign me up.

If it’s another set of Phil-Donahue-filtered-through-C-SPAN political bullshit, shoot Lucas now.

Let me tell you something kids: Weed, acid and cocaine fueled the first trilogy he made, and that trilogy changed storytelling for two decades. Chai lattes, white guilt and mortgages fueled the second, and that trilogy couldn’t change my pants. I think my point should be easy to see.

May 9, 2010

“Holy Shit Snacks!”

Filed under: Why You Need Netflix — Tags: , — Saint Waldo @ 10:07 PM

“We have snacks?”

I just discovered Archer:Season 1 on Netflix. It’s Frisky Dingo with H. Jon Benjamin extending the Xavier Cruise riff as super-secret government agent Sterling Archer (codename: Duchess). Yeah, it’s about as cool as my writeup, but it’s also exactly as cool as the cover would suggest:

Archer Season One Cover Art

I didn’t realize how much I missed Adult Swim (even tho this turns out to have been punted to F/X), but I don’t have to anymore. There’s other ways to see it online, and you really should take the time.

May 5, 2010

Holy Fuck, Son (Cinco de Mayo Edition)

Filed under: Media Fascination,Movies,Politics — Tags: , , — Saint Waldo @ 10:37 AM

If you needed an excuse to love Robert Rodriguez, it’s been found.

That’s right. Fuck you, too, Arizona.

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